The Curse of the Younger Mother

The other day I was in a store getting groceries.  I was holding Daisy, as usual, and a grandma-ish, old lady comes up to me.

“Aw, what a cute baby.  Are you her babysitter?”

”  Thank you.  No, she’s my daughter.”

Uh.  She’s old, so I just bite my tongue and politely ignore her and keep looking at chips or whatever it was I was looking at.

“Wow, you’re so young!”

Uhh… Wow, you’re so old!!  Still I don’t say anything.

“Well,  you two can grow up together.”

And she walked off. HOLY CRAP!?!?!  Ok??  At that, I laughed and said to Daisy, “C’mon Daisy, let’s go ‘grow up together’!”  Pretty loudly.

I mean, seriously,  I know she was old and to her a 50-year-old probably looked 12, but what makes people think they have the right to just walk up and say whatever they want?

Honestly, I was kind of expecting it when I was pregnant.  I’m almost 22 years old but I realize, that sometimes, when I don’t dress up and am just in a t-shirt and jeans, I look 16.  I was expecting the judgemental looks and comments, but not as much while I have Daisy.

Really, it’s been my curse to carry for a while.  You know people talked while Ryan and I were dating.  I heard it from everyone when we got engaged and married.  Even still petty people like to bring up my age in arguments that have nothing to do with the fact.

Age doesn’t equal maturity.  I know 35-year-old women who still talk and gossip like they were in highschool.  I know 50-year-old women who thrive on drama.  The other day I saw a, probably around 40-year-old, mother, carrying her NEWBORN in the cold, with nothing but a onesie on.  Just a onesie.  Daisy was wearing, jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, a coat and a hat.  This was a 40-year-old, with a newborn who was wearing next to nothing.  Where was that old, rude, grandmother then?

I take care of myself, I take care of my child and my husband.  We’ve been married for two years and are still very much in love.  So why does my age matter to anyone else?

What if I want to be the hot PTA mom?  What if I want to be the youngest mom taking her daughter to kindergaten? What if I want to be done having kids by the time I’m thirty so I can still have my body AND my family?  What if I want to still be young enough to have plenty of energy to chase my babies around without resenting them?

I know 35-40 year olds who act like they hate their kids.  “OHH TWO MORE YEARS UNTIL THEIR IN SCHOOL, THANK GOD!!!”  “OH ONE HOUR UNTIL NAP TIME UGHHH”  “WHEN IS BEDTIME UHHHH”  I absolutely love every moment with my daughter. We play, we laugh, we talk and have a wonderful time.  I MISS her during nap time and like it when she stays up late with me.  The thought of sending her away to school kills me already.

I would never think of walking up to an older mother and saying “Wow, you’re so old to have such a young baby…  Do you have life insurance?… How do you have the energy to keep up?…Wow, you’re going to be so old when she’s 18..”

It’s no one elses’ business how old I am.  I’m young, I’m married, I’m a mom, I’m a woman, I chose this life, I love this life and nothing else matters to me.

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Want to take a walk with me?

I love October.  I love downtown.  I think Miss Daisy is becoming a fan of downtown too.  On our days off we like the walk and explore.  It was probably one of my most favorite days, ever.

Won’t you come take a walk with me?

Mom-of-the-year forgot socks for Daisy… Oh well, it was more-so windy than cold.

Like my hat?  Me too.  Thanks Jess. 😉

Don’t know what my hair is doing.  I told you it was windy.  So, some random information, because your all so so so interested in the boring details of my life…  It’s really hard to find good parking downtown.  There’s no space really.  And the parking we do have is expensive, PLUS there are EVIL tow trucks EVERYWHERE (I’ve had a few experiences with these lovely fellows…)  Anyhow,  When Ryan and I were dating we found “our spot”  which is top-secret,  CAN’T be towed, and FREE.  BAH!

Wouldn’t Attachment Parenting be proud?  Mmhmmm

Our walk from our car takes us to the heart of downtown.  No hula hoopers or drum circles or paint-fests going on today.  Oh well, it’s still gorgeous as always.

Remember when your mom used to make you dress up for pictures outside and the sun would always be right in your eyes?  I’m mom.

Falling in love yet?

It’s ok Daisy, I’m always barefoot too.

A long time ago, I was helping someone in their garden, and this person got personally offended that I took my shoes off.  Um, its wet grass and dirt, why wouldn’t I have my shoes off?  Oh, and my feet didn’t even stink!  Haha who knows.

Rude car.

This makes me laugh for some reason.

Above is The Iron.  A favorite spot for buskers.  When Ryan and I were dating he would busk her a lot and I’d listen to him.

Ok, so I’m a bit strange, as you all know.  I always have some random thing I look for in every store.  Sometimes it takes me years to find.  I don’t “actively look”  but I browse around when I’m out somewhere.  A few years ago it was a certain bird necklace, then a feather incense burner (FOUND last year…)  Currently, it is a cute, fat, adorable, medium-sized Buddha.  You know, where his face is ridiculously happy and you just want to pinch him.  That’s what I look for.  This Buddha is just creepy as hell. lol.

Yep, I know you’re in love now.  This homemade shop makes the BEST lemonade I’ve ever had.  I love fresh squeezed SOUR lemonade.  Delish.

I think I just gained 20lbs looking at these…

So much sweetness!  I told the girl behind the counter, “I swear I’m not a tourist, I just really like pictures.”  and she says, “Oh, I know, you don’t look like a tourist.”

Best compliment ever?

I want to call her Dorothy. No clue why.

Mmmhmm, ladies, He’s taken.

These key chains were supposed to give you magic powers… I wonder if that’s how Harry Potter does it….

They made a bumper sticker just for me!?!?!  Thanks guys!!!  Haha.  Ironic…

We should go for another walk sometime soon.  I feel like Mr. Rodgers, but, I hope you’ll join me again, neighbor.

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My 5 Month Old…

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The African baby freaked me out…

Last night we watched Babies the documentary.  I’ve been wanting to see it since I was pregnant with Daisy.  Oh my gosh.  So much cute-ness.  I feel like I learned a lot too.

Four babies, throughout their first year of life, were filmed.  America, Mongolia, Africa and Japan.  The Japan baby, Mari, was especially fun to watch because my husband grew up in Japan.  We saw some old places he used to go and he could tell me what they were saying.  The way the Japanese baby and the American babies were raised was worlds different from the African and Mongolian babies.  I’m not saying better, just different.  Holy cow, how cute is the Mongolian baby?

Anyway,  the Japanese baby seemed to get really smart really fast.  Her motor skills were insane for so young!  You could tell that the toys and games they got for her were designed for that.  No wonder  the Japanese are so damn smart!  Oh my gosh, I almost cried when she stood up for the first time!

The American baby was raised in San Fransisco and her mom kind of got on my nerves.  I’m called a hippie and lot (I really don’t like being called that but whatever- it’s like a someone calling a black person a… well, you get the idea)  But she was annoyingly crunch-tastic and it just seemed like she was trying too hard.  “Mother earth will take care of us!!” Come on.   Anyway, her baby seemed to develop personality and social skills really quickly.  She was like Daisy, in that she was very expressive early on.  CUTE.

The Mongolian baby… OMG I could just stick him in my purse and take him home with me.  They have kind of “hands off approach” to their kids… Which, doesn’t freak me out as badly because they lived in a wide open, green space.  The kid’s brother kept picking on him which was kind of cute.  And seeing him interact with the animals and reluctantly learning to walk was adorable.  And holy cow, the mom, right after birth, hops on a motorcycle with baby and husband and rides home… UHHH……  But seriously, I loved this kid.  He seemed the most aware and perceptive of the babies.

The African baby…. OH MY GOSH.  This is why he freaked me out…  The germ-a-phobe in me had the seriously close my eyes at a couple of parts.  AHH DON’T PUT THAT ANIMAL BONE YOU FOUND ON THE GROUND IN YOUR MOUTH….. OH MY GOSH DON’T EAT THAT ROCK….. And the flies… and the dirt…   I’m not disrespecting how these people live.  It’s just so other worldly to me.  I freak out with a stranger touches Daisy in a store… This little baby was carried around by kids not much older than him, chewing on rocks and bones, cleaned with spit, flies everywhere, crawling up to dogs and playing in their mouths, no adults in sight most of the time.  However, it was obvious that he was VERY loved by a lot of people.  That was beautiful.  He was definitely the most self-sufficient out of the bunch… Whew.  Very eye-opening indeed.

I was watching the African and Mongolian babies and thinking “I know I’m freaking out over how ‘on their own’ they are- but I’m sure other people around the world are watching the American baby and freaking out over different things too.”  Like,  OH MY GOSH THIS KID HAS NO COMMUNITY!  HOW DOES ONE WOMAN RAISE THIS CHILD!!  THIS BABY HAS NO CULTURE!!  THIS BABY HAS NO IMMUNE SYSTEM BUILT UP!!  AHH THAT MOM JUST KEEPS HOVERING!!

I think I learned I could stand to be a little more hands off with Daisy.  She needs to learn to work through things herself.  She won’t be chewing animal bones anytime soon… But I think more independent play and exploration might be good for her.  Back up a little mama-maranda.

Really, it was a precious movie and you all should see it ❤

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Turban Head

Daisy fell asleep on our walk.

There’s nothing like a warm-daddy’s-chest.

Ryan was laughing at the “turban” I made ,out of her blanket , to cover her ears.  It was getting nippy!

❤

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Independent Girls

There’s a few things I want to teach Daisy about being a woman.  I know she’s only a little baby now, but that won’t always be the case.  I’ve been thinking lately about being a little girl and fairy tale endings and what I want Daisy to believe and seek after.

Fairy tales are part of being a girl, of course.  Every girl is going to dream of her prince and her wedding and having babies.  I did!  I still do!  But I think it’s important to teach Daisy, early on, that if that’s not what she wants, or that’s not what happens for her, that’s ok!

And she’s not a “damsel in distress”!  I don’t want her to grow up thinking she’s a princess in need of rescuing.  I want her to be strong, confident, and independent!

There’s a wonderful book called The Paper Bag Princess And it’s about a princess who sets off to rescue the prince from an evil dragon.  When she gets there and rescues him, she realizes that the prince isn’t as wonderful as she thought he would be and she ends up not marrying him!  How cool is that?

There’s also Princess SmartyPants about a princess who doesn’t want to get married at all and would rather live with her pets forever.  Somewhat cat-lady but I can dig it.

And Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots which tells girls it’s ok if you’re not a girly-girly girl!  Go get dirty and be who ever you want to be.

And when she gets older, I can’t wait to read Pride and Prejudice with her.  She’s actually named after my favorite character, Elizabeth Bennet.  Elizabeth Bennet was witty, spoke her mind (which got her in trouble lots of times… hmm a lot like Daisy’s mom I suppose..;) )  and didn’t settle for the first guy that came along just because that’s what was expected of her.  Her and Mr. Darcy’s romance was messy but oh so beautiful.

Aside from the princess stuff, we’re definitely reading Harry Potter as a family!  AHH I can’t wait!

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Lazy Day

I don’t feel like moving today.  I wish I could just stay in bed all day.  But alas, those days are gone.  At least for 18 or so years…

Anyway, this morning after making my darling husband a big cup of coffee and sending him on his way,  Daisy and I watched Gilmore Girls in our PJ’s.

It’s starting to get cold!  I was freezing last night.  I’m excited to get Daisy some cute hats and sweaters though. 🙂

Daisy’s still sleepy today too for some reason.  She’s been doing this whole “I’m only taking a 30 minute nap” thing and it’s killing me!

Ok, I’m off to attempt nap-time again.  Wish me luck.  *yawn*

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Beautiful

Today was absolutely lovely.  My husband now has a regular 9-5, monday-friday, so he has Saturdays and Sundays off.  Today we had a family day!

Since the weather was gorgeous, we packed a picnic and went to the lake.  We found a cute little bench and ate our sandwiches while Daisy napped in her car seat.

There’s just something so peaceful about being in the woods.  The trees seem so wise…

We took a long walk and talked and dreamed.  We talked about the garden we want to plant and the dogs we want to adopt.  We talked about Daisy and when we would like to start trying for her little brother or sister.  How lucky am I that my husband and I are still so in love?

It was refreshing to walk around in the dirt, laugh, and show Daisy the water.  I was reminded last night of how thankful I am for my sweet little family.  Not everyone finds the person for them, not everyone is able to have a baby, not everyone has someone to love them no matter what.  What’s even sadder is that some people do have these things but never fully appreciate them.  Some people live lonely lives. This is something I easily forget.  It’s good to be reminded of how truly truly fortunate I am.  I have a loving, patient, intelligent, thoughtful, hardworking husband whom I love madly and who’s crazy about me.  I have a beautiful, healthy little girl who lights up my life with her sweet smiles and chubby little body.  I have so much to be happy about.

Life is beautiful!

xoxo

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Clingy?

I’m not exaggerating when I say this;  Daisy is always attached to my hip.  Occasionally she’ll let me put her in her excersaucer to play.  Most of the time though, she has to be held.  Oh, and only by me or her daddy.  She won’t go to anyone else for longer than maybe a minute without crying and wanting me.  It’s strange, because she’s only 4 and a half month old, but it’s true.  She already ahs stranger anxiety.

I’m kind of conflicted on what to do about it.  On one hand, she’s a baby who just wants her mommy and daddy.  On the other hand, I don’t want her to be afraid of everyone. I don’t want her to be that 2-year-old who clings to her mommy’s leg for dear life whenever new people are around.  Maybe I’m over thinking it, but really, what if we have to go somewhere and I need to leave her with a friend or family?  I want her to start getting used to being held by others.  I think it’ll only get harder as she gets older.

Maybe I’ll start her in doses.  I’ll let someone hold her and let her fuss a little for like 5 minutes and then take her back.  Just so she start seeing that everything is ok? I don’t know, I’m new at this!

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Look, don’t touch…

So, I’m walking around a grocery store, minding my own business with my little Daisy-baby strapped to my chest.  Then, it happens, it never fails to happen…  “AWWW!!! HOW SWEEETT!!! LOOK AT THE BABBBYYYYY!!!!”  And someone comes over and starts touching her.

A stranger is touching my baby and I have no idea what to say.  I know.  I ALWAYS have something to say.  I’m a GERM-A-PHOBE!  I hate hate hate people touching her, especially her hands! She’s teething! Those chubby little fingers go into her mouth!!!!  I try to lean away,  I keep it short and sweet, sometimes I don’t say much at all and try to back out of the conversation but nothing seems to work.  I don’t want to be rude, but sick season is coming!

This can’t happen when everyone is catching colds and the flu.  I don’t know where these peoples’ hands have been.  I always immediately take out a wipe and wipe her hands and feet off.  I don’t care if they see me do that and get offended. I don’t know you and you have no right to come up and touch my baby.  It’s not like a dog you can just walk up to and pet.  This is my baby and I’d rather her not have your grimey hands all over her.

Over reacting? Most likely.  But I really hate it and I don’t know what to say!!!

Do people try to touch your baby?  What do you say or do?

I’ll let you know what I do next time…

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