Post Number 100! Taking a look back…

In honor of my 100th post on this blog- I though I’d take a look back, in photos, of my journey to motherhood. Not too long ago this was pretty much just a pregnancy blog, now I have a beautiful 10-week-old!

^ This was taken the day we found out we were pregnant.  We were so excited we could hardly stand it.  We had been trying for almost 6 months!  I didn’t get morning sickness at all, I did, however, start craving strawberry smoothies.  Every night on my way home I’d stop at the store for strawberries, and Dole fruit juice, and I’d blend them with ice and eat almost 5 of those a day!  I thought something had to up.  So I took a test and well… you know the rest 😉

When I was 17 weeks pregnant we found out we were having a girl!! We were SO excited!! We would have been happy with either, but we were really hoping for a girl.   Since I had midwives, this was the only ultra sound I had throughout my entire pregnancy.

Though we got pregnant in August, we didn’t tell everyone the news until October (around the time this blog was born)  This a picture from the day we told the world our amazing news 🙂

I know I was around 30 weeks in this pregnant and it was very cold outside.  I liked being pregnant in the winter time and having my babe in the spring.  I was so cute!  I almost miss that belly.  Almost.

After being induced at 41weeks, and 38 lonngggggg hours of labor, our baby girl was born, healthy, happy, and more than we could have ever hoped for.

I don’t know what I would have done without this blog!  The community of sweet moms I’ve met and been encouraged by is amazing!  My blog has been a great outlet to vent and know that I’m not alone.

I appreciate all of my readers and look forward to 100 more posts! 🙂

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This can’t be normal!?

I’m 21 weeks and my breasts are leaking? I layed down and took like an hour long nap and woke up with wet spots on my shirt.  I thought this wasn’t supposed to happen until the third trimester? Does this mean I could miscarry or ??? AHHH

Probably TMI but I don’t care.  I called my midwife and talked to the receptionist and she said she didn’t know and would have a midwife call me back.  Well that’s not at all comforting.

I’m freaking out.

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21 weeks

I’m feeling much better today, thankfully.  I don’t know what my deal was yesterday. Rest really helped.  21 weeks yesterday!!   Only 19 more weeks to go… Eek.  I still don’t really feel pregnant.  I look like I’ve been going a little too hard on the beer and ben&jerrys- judging by my ever growing belly.  But I don’t really feel that pregnant.  I guess it’ll sink in when strangers start noticing.  I’m pretty sure peoples’ stares and comments will get on my nerves- but at least I’ll feel more pregnant? Ha.

So here’s the update on Jellybean:

Chances are good you’re feeling someone performing a round-off back handspring in your uterus by now. Is there any other feeling this cool? Other highlights this week:

By now your baby looks like a mini-version of what she’ll look like when she’s born. She’s about the size of a large banana!  All her facial features are formed and hair is growing on her head. She’s even acting like a baby and will occasionally suck her thumb or yawn. Aww …

Baby’s heartbeat is getting stronger and can be heard using a good old-fashioned stethoscope. Ask for a listen at your next prenatal visit! By 21 weeks, fetal bone marrow starts making blood cells—previously done by the liver and spleen. This may not sound that exciting, but it’s good news.

The amniotic fluid that has been cushioning your little bean now serves another purpose: Your baby uses it to “practice” chowing down. Yes, it sounds gross (as many aspects of pregnancy do), but it’s an important step for your baby toward being able to chow down in the real world. Your baby has been swallowing amniotic fluid for a while now, but now the intestines are finally developed enough that she’s absorbing small amounts of sugars from it. And let’s face it, being able to effectively digest sugar is important at every stage of life.

Well, that’s exciting.  It really makes me want a banana though.

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My freak out of the moment

So yesterday I wasn’t very hungry. Didn’t eat much all day.  A little bit here and there but I just wasn’t feeling up to a huge meal for some reason.  Last night I was up 3 times because my stomach was hurting so badly.  I’d go to the bathroom and nothing.  I just wanted something, anything, to happen so it would stop hurting so bad.  I was finally able to fall asleep for like an hour before Ryan and I both had to be up at 7 to go to work.  I could barely walk my stomach hurt so bad.  Then I started freaking out like- what if this is hurting baby-what if these are cramps and not so much my stomach hurting. Then on top of that baby was kicking all morning and I convinced myself it was because she’s in pain.

I opened at work and got someone to cover for me so now I’m home.  My co-worker sad she and her girlfriend had the stomach bug this past week. So maybe that’s what it is. Stomach bug + pregnancy constipation+ painful hemorrhoids  is like the worst combo EVER.  Or maybe it’s just the constipation.  I’m going to try to drink a lot of water today and hopefully that will help.  Everything I’ve read says that it doesn’t hurt the baby so that’s good to know.

I’m probably being punished. I’ve been a bitch lately.  And I’m not even going to justify it by blaming it on pregnancy hormones. I’ve just been a bitch.  My poor husband.  The other day I was freaking out about groceries and he was trying to tell me that everything would be ok and I was a total ass about it.  I pretty much said I  feel sorry for our baby being born into such a poor family.  Yeah. Maranda at her finest.

Then, last night he’s supposed to get off at 9:30 but he didn’t end up getting off until 12am.  So what do I do to my poor husband who’s working a 15 hour day? I call him and yell at him for not being home to spend time with me. Yell at him for working late? Really?  That’s not even all- This morning when I was feeling terrible, he was trying to get me to call in sick and I yelled at him and told him he was just stressing me out more.  I feel bad even writing all of this down. I feel even worse that it’s all true.  What’s my problem? I love him more than anything and I’m being a royal bitch to him and he’s nothing but patient and sweet to me.

I suck.  I don’t know what to do to make it up to him.  Right now I really need to sleep. I feel like shit. Not like I don’t deserve to feel this way, physically and emotionally, but yeah. Sleep.

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